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Thank you for your comment! We agree, and we think most parents do, that cry-it-out is a last resort, and we always recommend trying a gentle sleep coaching method first. That said, the research on cry-it-out is that, done correctly and not as a replacement for parenting your baby, it is not harmful, and can indeed be beneficial when you consider the damage that lack of sleep can do to a baby’s overall health and well-being. We have an article with further information about our philosophy on cry-it-out here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/cry-it-out-age/

"I have two kids. The first one was never left to cry it out – we rocked, sung, walked, drove her to sleep until she was old enough to be read a story. Then, with baby number two, I decided to try CIO and after one night, it worked. At 12 months, she goes to sleep at night by herself and never cries. It was the best thing I did. My husband was against it, but he wasn't the one up four or five times every night for nine months straight! Now our household is very happy and everybody sleeps well."
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Parents often wonder how to know if your child needs sleep training or if their sleep habits are just something they’ll grow out of. If your baby is consistently cranky and overtired, it's probably time to look into helping them become a better sleeper. And as Melissa noted, she started sleep training the second time around because she could tell her son was just as frustrated as she was about not sleeping!

“There are many variations to any sleep training method. For example, you can do a cross between The Chair Method and PUPD with great success and fewer tears! There are also ways of breaking each method into smaller baby steps, which we recommend very often in our Personalized Sleep Plans®. Find what feels tolerable (because, frankly, no one ‘likes’ to sleep train), more comfortable for you, and what seems the gentlest, yet effective, on your baby, depending on his or her temperament and personality.”
"My well-meaning friends are all Ferber addicts. I went against my own instincts with our son and tried with no success. They promised it would get better each night, but on the third night he cried for three hours, much longer than the first two. I felt like a failure and, of course, stressed from all of his crying. Babies have their own personalities, and you shouldn't feel pressured into doing something that 'works for everyone else.'"
It’s difficult if not impossible to sleep train if you share a bed with your child. There’s good evidence that bed sharing is associated with sleep difficulties in infancy and beyond. One survey of more than 50,000 Norwegian families showed that bed sharing was associated with more frequent night awakenings at both 6 and 18 months. Switching your child to sleeping independently for a week or so prior to sleep training can be helpful as you can soothe your child to sleep in the new sleeping environment first.
Camping out involves gradually withdrawing your presence from your child’s room over the course of a week or two. This method is a good fit for parents who are not comfortable with prolonged crying, although it is important to recognize that, for some children, there is no such thing as a “no-cry” solution. The downside is that camping out takes longer than C.I.O.
Parents often wonder how to know if your child needs sleep training or if their sleep habits are just something they’ll grow out of. If your baby is consistently cranky and overtired, it's probably time to look into helping them become a better sleeper. And as Melissa noted, she started sleep training the second time around because she could tell her son was just as frustrated as she was about not sleeping!
Typically, formula-fed infants who are growing well no longer need to feed at night by 6 months. Breastfed infants may continue a little bit longer, but typically no longer feed at night by 9 months. If your baby has been falling asleep independently at bedtime for a month but still waking to feed, you may want to consider weaning at night. Be aware that if you are breastfeeding, this may lead to a reduction in milk supply.

"I have two kids. The first one was never left to cry it out – we rocked, sung, walked, drove her to sleep until she was old enough to be read a story. Then, with baby number two, I decided to try CIO and after one night, it worked. At 12 months, she goes to sleep at night by herself and never cries. It was the best thing I did. My husband was against it, but he wasn't the one up four or five times every night for nine months straight! Now our household is very happy and everybody sleeps well."
The most well known cry it out technique is the one developed by pediatrician Richard Ferber, director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital Boston. Ferber says that in order to fall asleep on their own and sleep through the night, babies have to learn to soothe themselves. Ferber believes that teaching a baby to soothe himself may involve leaving him alone to cry for prescribed periods of time.

• Chair method. Also called the sleep lady shuffle or gradual withdrawal and popularized by Kim West, LCSW-C, author of Good Night, Sleep Tight, this method starts with you sitting in a chair next to baby’s crib. Each night, you move the chair farther away from the crib, verbally soothing or shushing baby when she cries (although occasional patting and picking up are okay) until you’re no longer in the room. This method can be helpful for older babies and toddlers who may suffer from separation anxiety and can understand that Mom and Dad are just on the other side of the door, but it also works for younger babies.


Sleep training means using behavioral techniques to teach your baby to sleep independently by altering her “sleep onset associations” — or the circumstances your baby needs to fall asleep at bedtime. By removing your presence at bedtime, you are providing new associations with the result that she will learn to fall asleep independently, both at bedtime and when she awakens during the night.
But when he was about three-and-a-half months old, the routine fell apart. “I would feed him, but he wouldn’t be asleep at the end of the feed,” recalls Welk. “I would rock him until he fell asleep and put him down, and then he would wake up 30 minutes later and I would do it all over again.” Desperate for some rest, Welk brought Greyson into bed with her, but then she ended up just lying still, holding a pacifier in his mouth all night long. “I didn’t know anything about sleep,” says Welk. “I didn’t know you couldn’t just rock them to sleep and then put them down.”
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